February 16, 2010

Going to the Chapel

So I was looking at the new Chapter III features and I noticed there is going to be a chapel to get married in. That’s sort of a strange thing to put in the game, I think, but maybe there’s more to it.

Like maybe there’s going to be a big quest line that has to be followed in order to get your marriage certificate...

First of all the groom has to craft a Level 55 purple rarity ring that costs him 3 months salary. And he has to guess at what metal to use or risk his beautiful bride-to-be bursting into tears and screaming, “I wanted Mithril, not Mysticite. Do you even know me at all??”

But once the bride accepts his ring, the groom really doesn’t have much left to do. The only other quest he has to complete is the Bachelor Party quest in which he logs off one night in Varanas and wakes up the next morning on the other side of Taborea with no pants, no gold and the words, “Bronwen, House 027582” etched into his armor.

The bride, however, has many many more quests to complete before the lucky day. First she has to collect 150 Fairywood timber to print the invitations on. Then she has to collect 1000 Moon Orchids bundles to decorate the hall with. Then she has to craft 150 plates of Crisp Honey Roasted Chicken for the guests plus one plate of Exquisite Meat & Bread for Aunt Martha who can't eat chicken since that unfortunate incident at the Chick-fil-A. After that, she must visit every vendor in all of Taborea TWICE to find a wedding dress. Having finished that quest, she must repeat the process to find the right shoes.

And lastly, the bride must defeat her future mother-in-law in a PK duel on the steps of the church in front of all the guests.

By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife!

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