For instance, let’s talk about Distine, a lovely lady who lives outside of Lyk (Today’s post is brought to you by the letter L.)
Poor, poor Distine has a killer headache and would really just love it if you could cut the vocal cords out of all the damn noisy wolves in the neighborhood. Sure thing, Distine. I’ll get right on that. But only because Taborea has not yet discovered the joys of acetaminophen. (Alchemists, come on now!)
Having slaughtered 15 howling wolves for the fair maiden, I return triumphantly to her house. Hmmmm. Distine still has a headache. I ask her if it’s a tumor. She says, “It’s not a tumor!” Through gritted teeth she requests that I silence the local grizzlies whose fur makes such an irritating noise in the wind. Okey doke.
15 grizzlies take a dirt nap thanks to my amazing prowess and I return again to Distine’s side. She’s still obvious distraught, which I can tell by the way she has worn a path through the snow with her pacing.
She leans in close to me and whispers, “It must be the town.” She grabs her hair in her hands and shouts, “Kill the noise from the town!!”
Okay, so this is the point where I’m thinking this chick is two sticks short of a beaver lodge, if you know what I mean. So I nod and smile and back away slowly and then boot it over to talk to the mayor of Lyk.
The dear mayor, bless his helpful little soul, tells me that most likely the girl is a ghost and would I be so kind to deliver this notebook to her so that perhaps she can move on to the other side or whatever.
No way. Uh-uh. I am so out of here! It’ll be a hot day in Harf before I go tell some crazy ghost she’s dead. Call Ghostbusters. Call the Ghost Whisperer. Heck, call Dog the Bounty Hunter, I don’t care! But don’t be asking me to step foot anywhere near that undead freak!
And that’s the end of that quest. I’m going back to Silverspring to kill some nice boring Cow Beetles.
Very funny. I like this one a lot.
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