How to Kill a Mob

During downtime yesterday, I decided to write a post about getting back to basics, the very essence of Taborea...how to kill something! You simply cannot succeed in this game without knowing how to end the lives of all the psychotic creatures in this game who surely have a grudge against you in particular.

A lovely and naive Winternight Ice Fairy offered to be my model for these demonstrations.

KNIGHT: Take ginormous 2H sword and apply it forcefully to the dotted line. This effectively separates her pretty head from her slender neck. Lower levels may have to apply the sword more than once, but as you improve, one heavy-handed slice should work just fine.

WARRIOR: Lift huge 2H axe and chop viciously at the 3 most vulnerable parts on the mob's body: the jugular, the femoral artery, and the heart. Laugh insanely as she dies.

ROGUE: Using your 2 sharpest daggers, proceed to stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stabby stab stab until mob bleeds to death. If this becomes boring, repeat on the back side of the mob.

MAGE: Calling upon the power of fire, conjure one or more fireballs to your fingertips and aim in the general direction of the mob. Summon the power of wind to fix the mob in place using a lightning strike. Re-apply fire until mob is charred beyond recognition.

SCOUT: Raise bow. Take aim at center of mob's left eye. Fire. Look around to see if anyone noticed your immense skill. Yawn. Repeat as necessary.

WARDEN: Tell your Oak Walker that the mob hates trees and that the mob routinely wastes paper by writing self-absorbed journal entries about her unrequited love for the barista at the local Starbucks. Watch your surprisingly vicious Oak Walker dismember the mob.

PRIESTS/DRUIDS: Offer a prayer to your chosen deity as mobs attack. Find the knight/warrior/rogue/innocent bystander who has been recruited to protect you. Take aim at his head and never lose focus. Cast all your healing spells at your savior, keeping close watch on his HP. Drink mana potions until you feel like barfing blue. Shoot more healing spells at tank until mobs are all dead and you are safe. Resurrect any fools who didn't do their jobs.